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Buono to Go Back to Court

In a ruling a few days ago, the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts in Norfolk County allowed Rey Buono's rape case to return to court: "We further conclude that the Commonwealth presented sufficient corroborating evidence to the grand jury for two incidents. Accordingly, we reverse the allowance of the motion to dismiss indictments ... "

The Court's full decision can be read on the "Rey Buono" page of this website.

At this point, if there is more information out there from anyone who can help, please come forward and contact me or the Norfolk County (MA) District Attorney's Office, or Detective Valter Pires, who is a member of the Milton, MA Police Department and listed on the ruling.

Rey was molesting boys long ago. We have grown into men. If you were molested by Rey or Bob Ludlow, you may not want to talk about it. It may be very difficult. You may think that their crimes are in the past, that they don't matter, that for some reason being molested was a kind of "rite of passage" (believe it or not, I have heard that term used by certain St. David's teachers with whom I've spoken, and others). You may have recovered from being abused, or you may not think about it any more. You may feel embarrassed or ashamed that it ever happened. You may think it was your fault.

Without some kind of acknowledgement or treatment or care, however, the abuse may have gone underground. Maybe you have had trouble with relationships or addictions. Maybe you have had trouble being able to concentrate well enough to work. Maybe you have had trouble with the law. Maybe you are hyper-sensitive to raised voices, other people's anger, loud noises, or any kind of conflict. Maybe you say "yes" to so much when you really want to say "no."

Sexual abuse is a form of trauma, as real as the trauma one can feel on a battlefield, as real as the trauma one can feel after surgery or a life-threatening incident. It can linger in your bones. It can be somatic, and hence confusing - you may have had panic attacks, "for no reason." The reason is that is it in you, taken some hold of you. But it can be removed.

When I started writing this blog and making this page on my website - which, previously, contained my art, photos, and writing - I became gradually re-traumatized. I heard terrible stories that I have described. It became apparent that St. David's wanted to keep this story quiet, and the school's communications with me were directed through its counsel. Counsel told me that the school was doing everything it could; the school told me it was being directed by counsel. "Shut up and go away like a nice boy," was the message I heard.

I'm sorry - but that's what abusers tell their victims. Whether it's a rapist telling his victim not to talk, or a government telling its veterans that their PTSD isn't real, that's what abusers say. They shout you down; they tell you to be quiet.

The morning after I was sexually abused - not by either of these teachers - the abuser came up to me at the place where I had a summer job, with his wife right behind him, and before I could do anything he stuck his meaty hand out and grabbed mine and said, "Thanks for being a man about it."

I'm a terrified twelve year-old boy. A two-hundred pound, six foot tall man stands smiling in front of me. He squeezed my fingers hard.

Does "being a man about it" mean staying quiet? (I told my parents; they did little). Does it mean forgiving someone for a sex crime the morning after it's done to you? Does it mean being willing to be sexually molested and to just be a man by letting it go?

No, I don't think so.

I think "being a man about it" means speaking up. It means telling the Emperor he's naked.

I'd like to turn the degrading phrase "Man up," upside down. When people, like abusers, tell you to "man up," they're basically saying, "Get over it - grow up - what you're feeling is childish."

But that's wrong. To "man up" means to call out the abusers; it's to speak; it's to refuse to be silenced; it's to be yourself again.

This is Rey Buono. Click on the photos and you will find him speaking on YouTube eight years ago, introducing some kind of theatre festival. He uses the word "orgies" in there. I'm struck by his wide mouth and sharp teeth.

What's also creepy about Rey Buono: when I was in fourth grade myself, and he was a fifth grade teacher, he told my mom, and then my mom told me, "I hope I get my hands on Charlie next year - I want him to stand up in class and fart."

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